which one do i get?? hardest decision of my life?
so my mom set me up for an interview on the phone for some physical camp that i’m going to and since i have anxiety i don’t handle phone calls really well, but we would lose 2,000 dollars if i didn’t do it and we’re like broke.
so the lady called me and my mom had told her i was nervous before hand so she was all condescending the whole time telling me not to worry. which made me over analyze and worry more. what if i wasn’t good enough? what if she was laughing at me? is this trick question? we can’t lose 2,000 dollars cause i’m too nervous to talk on the phone! there’s no way i’m doing this. i wanted to curl up and die.
there was also a point when she asked me what i would contribute and i couldn’t think of anything good about myself so she had to prompt me, and after that i just couldn’t think of anything.
and throughout the whole thing i could feel my voice getting squeakier and shakier and then i forgot the word for rock climbing and she had to help me which was mortifying.
the end was also really awkward cause i can’t end phone calls so i just said bye and waited for her to hang up. but she didn’t and she kinda laughed.
and then afterward my mom was like, “that wasn’t so bad was it?” you’re right mother it wasn’t bad it was terrifying and i just blocked the whole thing out but she was asking me all about it and i’m in a constant state of panic still.
